I kind of feel like my whole life is just falling away from me sometimes.
I’m also sad to say it’s worsened by the people around me sort of becoming so happy with their lives. :/ I’m not jealous- I am genuinely happy for them… but I just can’t understand how I can’t be the same. I have so much good in my life; moreover, how can I even consider not being just as happy or content…
I’ve always wanted more! More things, more for myself, to be more than I already am but then I just don’t know if I’m making mistakes that I can’t see if my life is how it is.
I think I might need to change it all, just crunch up the piece of paper that is my life and start a new chapter but I can’t. I have so much good still in my life right now, and so much going for me- so many opportunities and possibilities. Not to mention the ties that I have in this life that I can’t break away from: university, already in third year, I can’t just drop out now; my job, which I actually really enjoy mostly,that I desperately need to survive; my boyf, who I wouldn’t want to leave behind…
Hmf, I don’t know. I just feel like something big has to happen. I just feel a little trapped in my own life at the minute. I’m 21 next month and still not sure where I’m going… how can I not know? Ugh.
- I should probs just concentrate on uni and get it done, then things will have to change.
- Reminiscing with my old friend has made me think of the past an awful lot more and start thinking about where it all went wrong… Should I bother looking to rekindle my old friendships or will they just fall flat and make me feel worse for it?
- I am a good person, trying and doing alright; perhaps I should just chill…
:/ :| :S
Urgh. God knows.